One of the most important decisions that you will make after your fiancé makes the cut is to choose a maid or matron of honour. Unlike men, who may harbor a small grudge about not being chosen as your intended’s man of honour, women tend to be vocal and catty when it comes time to pick one person to be seen as highest in your esteem. Once you add in your family and your soon-to-be-husband’s family, and making this choice could turn into an all-out war. However, it doesn’t have to be like that.
Choose From the Heart
Using some sort of formula about whose wedding you were in as maid of honour, yet someone else loaned you money for a dress, and yet another one is the sister you love yet you can’t consider hurting someone else’s feelings…Heading down this path can be painful for everyone involved and is almost certain to cause hard feelings. The person that you choose to stand up with you at your wedding is likely the first person that came to your mind the very first time you thought about your wedding. That person who has always supported you in good times and bad and the one you cannot imagine getting married without them there.
If You Really Can’t Decide…
It’s unfortunate, but the safe bet really is to go with a family member. If you have two friends and you just really cannot choose between them, you have a few options. First, you can choose a family member and make your friends your bridesmaids or you can get really crazy and choose more than one maid of honour. What? Is that even a thing? Yes, of course it is! It’s your wedding, and you can do whatever you want to even if someone does frown at you a bit. One of the problems with going with that suggestion is that you all need to agree upfront who has which responsibilities, and where the ladies will need to work together.
Pick a Guy
There’s nothing wrong with choosing a non-traditional “maid” of honour–if your best friend is a guy that certainly doesn’t mean that to include him in the wedding that he has to be a groomsman! He can be a part of your side of the wedding party in whatever way you want him to. Figure out some way to make his outfit mesh (matching tux?) with the bridesmaids and you are good to go.
Choosing a maid of honour is one of the most important decisions you will make as you prepare for your wedding. Don’t let it stress you out or cause anguish or breaks within your friendship circle. Instead, find a way to bring compromise and keep reminding yourself that any hurt feelings are simply due to an overabundance of love.